Being born female does not make you a lady. Being a lady is a character trait and like many other character traits and life in general, it’s a process of learning and becoming. This process more than anything deals strongly with the internal aspect of our being which when full grown blossoms and can then effortlessly manifest into our physical reality. The epitome of a modern lady is timeless, she stands out effortlessly in a crowd. She is respectful, elegant, polite, sophisticated and intentional in her manner and how she presents herself and interacts with others. Here are a few characteristics that if mastered will lead and nurture you on the path of embodying and mastering the art of being a modern lady.

1. A Kind Spirit.
One of the most timeless traits that a person can possess is kindness. It will never grow old and never not be wholesome. Considering how appreciated this trait is, I wonder why more people don’t take the time to cultivate it, it’s rough in these streets. We live in a world of duality and that means that as humans, even though we are inherently good & kind, we’re also the spawn of Satan and inherently evil & wicked. Life is all about balance after all so it makes sense. Maintain the energy across all boards. Feed your kindness and apply that wickedness in more pleasurable and beneficial areas of your life. I said what I said, come at me. When a lady is looking to bless rather than impress, we take notice, her light shines and overflows onto those around her and brightens our world that’s so full of selfishness, all just cuz she was. Thinking about others is an outward reflection of what’s in your heart and our hearts should be full of love joy, peace, kindness, gentleness and self control. Cuz you know what? Our minds are already full of the other things.

2. Well Mannered.
Being polite and having effortless manners is a good look on anyone. Use your please & thank you and mean it. Stop acting like an entitled brat or like you’re better than anyone, it’s not at all cute. A modern lady is well mannered, treating everyone with respect. She greets people with warmth and a friendly smile. When someone offers a compliment, she accepts it graciously, and most importantly, she doesn’t let her mood affect her manners.

3. Thought Before Speech.
A wise rapper once said “…no one knows you’re dumb till you open your mouth and run it…”… Never were there ever truer words said. The subject matter a person speaks of and the manner which they speak, says a lot about who they are. A modern lady does not engage in gossip, I stead she uses her speech and conversations to uplift others and encourage them. Her words are not used as a weapon and she doesn’t use them to harm or put others down.

4. Authenticity.
Inauthenticity is a paradox to me, cuz on one hand it makes sense right? Cuz think about it, we’ve been programmed from time being to be a certain way, act a certain way, live a certain way so it makes sense that we war against ourselves and who we were naturally designed to be in favour of the overriding program right?! But then why does every fiber of our being riot against that thought?! Maybe, perhaps, it’s cuz we just want to be who we are, we want to be us, cuz literally that’s who we were designed to be. The highest and best version of ourselves, so there’s that. A lady knows how to embrace and enjoy life with a positive attitude that is authentically and uniquely her. She knows who she is because she’s taken the time to get to know herself intimately. She has wit & humor, she is sophisticated, not in a snobbish gaudy way, but she’s not afraid to show her personality and downs not apologize for what she likes, how she likes it or how you have chosen to feel about . To thine self always be true.

5. Thirst For Knowledge.
A modern lady is on a continual quest for knowledge to better herself, her life and the lives of everyone around her. She is unashamed and relentless on this quest. Time is valuable and she uses her free time to learn new skills and better existing ones. She is up to date with world events and is not afraid of a challenge. She learns from her mistakes and applies this learning to further the progress of her life.

6. Tastefully Dressed.
I’ll admit that there are a lot of ways of dressing unique to each individual that are nice but not necessarily tasteful. A modern lady knows who she is and that beauty comes from within and the outward fixings are a mere, although extremely delightful addition to what lies within. She doesn’t dress for validation but because that’s what she wants to wear and represent herself. Her clothing choices are occasion appropriate and she knows how to build a quality wardrobe that suits her personality, image, lifestyle and that also fits well. She never compromises on the highest quality available to her.

7. Confident Carriage.
When you see a confident person, you can just tell, and the quality you see that makes them stand out, is that of belief in self. A confident lady knows how damaging the effects of constantly dwelling on her perceived flaws can be and she avoids it. She has an I can handle anything that comes my way type of attitude, and maintains a good posture in all dealings, and by posture, I don’t mean like head up, chest out shoulders back. I mean that she carries herself with grace. She maintains eye contact during interactions and is able to carry a conversation and relate to people of different opinions and backgrounds. Now you can insert head up, chest out & smile. That’s what I mean by posture.

8. Wisdom.
My understanding of wisdom is that it is the application of knowledge (the mind), understanding (the heart or body) & discernment (the souls intuition) to our life experiences in order to achieve the best possible outcome for ourselves. A lady knows how to combine and apply those elements to her life experience. She isn’t afraid to share her wisdom or admit when she is wrong or does not have all the answers. She knows when to pause and reflect and she also knows when it’s time to get moving. She understands the times and seasons and prepares herself accordingly. Basically the epitome of the proverbs 31 woman.

Embodying the modern lady isn’t going to be an easy task, but I believe that it’s totally worth it. It’s an art form, although a dying one, an art form nonetheless, and I’m a big fan of art, doesn’t matter the form. If it were simple everyone would have mattered it by now and life would be much less challenging, but alas! Being a lady involves daily discipline, self awareness and the desire for constant refinement & growth to become the women we were created to be. Our highest and most Divine Goddess self. If you liked this post don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment! Until next time.

Yours truly, Chalya.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s