Today I’m going to be sharing with you everything I’ve learnt about how to consciously curate your life, because in my humble opinion, it’s the best place to start taking responsibility, after all your life is the only thing that you really own. That is, if you’ve not gifted ownership, or anything like that. So lets get right into it!
If you’re feeling unmotivated and dissatisfied with were you are at in your life and the days seem super long but the years go by with lightning speed? Or maybe you’re just going through the motions because that’s what society has said we need to do to achieve success and attain happiness. If that’s the case, it’s time to wake up and stop sleepwalking through your life.
You are more than just educating for years, working for many more years and then retiring unfulfilled. There are so many alternatives out there, legit. Plus if you run on autopilot or based on what everyone else is telling you to be, or do or have, you’re going to end up pretty sad, possibly even depressed cuz you’ve neglected the most important person in that equation, and that person is you. Your thoughts, needs, wants and desires matter, the thing is no one is going to prioritize them for you, you have to do it for yourself. You need to differentiate your path, cuz if you’re going to spend a majority of your life working, don’t you want that life to be one that you love, chose and created for yourself? It’s not difficult to get trapped by economic necessities and settle for existence rather than substance. But we all have a choice, and we can either decide to make a living, or curate a life that we’ll love.
We are all affected by our environment, events, knowledge, results, our view of the future & our dreams, stuff sha. Of all these influences though, make sure your dreams are the biggest influence on your daily activities. Make sure the greatest pull on your being is the pull towards the future that you want for yourself. Cuz the only way for you to make that pull strong enough to reel you in is for you to plan and curate it.
Ask yourself a few questions:
1. What do I want my network to look like?
2. How do I want my intimate relationships to be?
3. How do I plan on staying educated and up to date?
4. How am I going to handle temptation?
5. How will I stay fit and healthy mentally, physically and spiritually?
6. What are my career goals?
7. What am I going to do with my life outside work?
8. If I could have all that would be good for me, what would that look like?
Deep right? I thought so too. But so important to know the answers to these questions.
We aren’t really encouraged to think all these questions through and actually figure out and feel through what we want based on who we are and the type of lives we want to live. Instead we prefer to just go with what is and focus on the pointless irrelevant details of life & what has been because it’s easy. We don’t care if it kills us. And in my not so humble opinion, that’s not living.
We prefer to let our perceived flaws and weaknesses drive us so far into the ground that we lose our sense of self. It’s a sad reality and the only way to get out of it is to make a detailed plan, cultivate habits that support the life you’re trying to create and of course put systems in place that maintain it all. But in order to make this happen you have to ask yourself even more questions, and dig a little deeper:
1. What is wrong with my life right now?
2. How am I suffering unnecessarily? And what can I do to change that?
3. What am I aiming at?
4. What do I want and what are my goals?
Having aim & goals narrows the world, takes a lot of pressure off and reduces anxiety. It enables you to know where you stand and where you’re going. It helps you focus and discern the practical steps you’ll need to take to hit that target and expand your range of competence.
Spend some time consciously thinking it through and evaluate what it is that you’re trying to accomplish. The future isn’t certain, and it’s also not certain that what you know now will be sufficient for you to move forward into the future. So this is important to do. Don’t just hop on the bandwagon and trade happiness for security, instead find the balance between the two. Life is essentially difficult but it can also be very meaningful as well if you decide to take baby steps towards doing what you want to do with your life.
There are two ways we can face the future. One is with apprehension, and the other is with anticipation. Most people face the future with apprehension because they have failed to plan, design and curate it to their tastes and desires. Without even thinking about it, they’ve bought into someone else’s view of how to think about it and then wonder why they feel the way they do about the whole thing and act as if they are victims of circumstance, giving their power away to unknown forces or whatever.
You can only face the future with anticipation when you have taken the time to plan and curate it. Then you have the opportunity to be excited about it cuz you’ve designed your future results in advance. This way the future has the opportunity to capture your imagination and will exert an enormous amount of influence on you.
So now what you practically need to do is to take some time designing the next ten years of your life and what you want that to look like. Break down your goals into what is necessary in the day, schedule what you need to in order to keep your life running and not deteriorating. Plan and know what it is that you want & have to do. Your schedule is your boss but it’s also your best friend that’s helping to keep you accountable. Treat it accordingly.
There are three main areas you need to focus on when you’ve decided to make the effort to consciously curate your life, and they are:
1. Developing Clarity of Vision
2. Setting Goals & Cultivating Habits
3. Creating Systems & Honest Self Assessment
So let’s get right to it…
1. DEVELOPING CLARITY OF VISION
Know where you want to be in the next 5 – 10 years. Don’t get caught sleepwalking. Really ask yourself the difficult questions and write down what you want your life to look like in detail, from start to finish. It’s called designing and curating the big picture. Ask yourself
1. If life we’re perfect, what would I do?
Answer it without judgement, don’t let the mental clutter & noise take over and make you stagnant. Now use that answer to paint your vision, and take your time painting it so you don’t leave anything out.
2. SETTING GOALS & CULTIVATING HABITS
Next you’re going to need to set some goals & cultivate some habits. Setting goals is one of the most important life skills to cultivate and develop if you want to design and curate your future. This is not a one off thing for your information, it’s a constant process that is going to keep you busy forever, so the sooner you exert the discipline needed, the sooner you’re going to enjoy the rewards and results of your effort. You’re going need to have well defined goals cuz well defined goals are like a magnet. They pull you in their direction and the better you have them defined & described and the harder you work on them, the stronger they pull. So strong that they pull you through all kinds of difficulties, seriously I can testify to this.
Without goals it’s easy to just let life deteriorate to the point where you’re just barely making a living. Remember it’s not at all difficult to get trapped by economic necessity. Your goals are going to serve as your GPS, you just need to see one step ahead of where you currently stand to make them happen and as you drive, the vision will light your path and lead you on. You don’t need to know all the steps, you just need to to take the next right step. Habits on the other hand are the things that will keep you accountable. You’re going to need to honestly ask yourself:
1. What do I need to start doing daily to achieve my goal? Also
2. What do I need to stop doing that is taking away time and energy from achieving my goal?
Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. So if you’re serious about curating a life that you’re going to love, you’re going to need to make some changes and stick to them. Research shows that our habit mind is subconscious and 95% of our lives are created by what has been embedded in our subconscious mind. Knowing that, it’s important that we pay attention to the things we do and think about daily cuz those are the things that will end up embedded in our subconscious and in turn create our lives & realities. Don’t just coast on what you think and do on a daily. Don’t just do life on autopilot, please, legit don’t do it. Instead, tap into your conscious and do things differently. You can start by writing 3 things each you want to start & stop doing. Research also shows that it takes only 21 days to form a habit, so there’s your next challenge.
3. CREATING SYSTEMS & HONEST SELF ASSESSMENT
So now that you have your goals and are working on developing habits to support and push those goals forward, you’re going to need to create systems and you’re going to need to learn how to assess your progress honestly. This is the follow through on your goals and habits. You don’t have to be balls to the walls every single day, I mean it’s deep but it’s not that deep. So you’re going to have to learn how to make this process flow. Think “how is this going to work sustainably” or “how am I going to make this work in a sustainable way” cuz the point of a system is to make achieving your goals a sustainable process, one that supports you when things get difficult and helps you not to quit on yourself. The secret is simple, plan, do, review & repeat. Take the next right step and as life comes at you, readjust and keep going. That’s how to keep your system running and get to where you’re going.
Once the results start coming, you won’t even mind the hard work and discipline that it’s going to take cuz you’re going to be feeling so fulfilled with yourself and the progress you’ve made so far. I’ve designed a free template which I use and you can as well for this process. It’s going to be linked in the description box below. So if you’re interested don’t hesitate to check that out.
I hope this helped put things into perspective for you. If it did I’d love it if you gave it a like, share and of course don’t forget to subscribe for more content like this. Until next time.
Yours truly, Chalya.