Feminine Mystery

The modern world has stripped away the concept of privacy and made it seem like it’s a crime to be private. I’m of the personal opinion that a majority of sharing borders on TMI. I mean some things I want to know, but others… not so much. Sometimes you don’t even get the luxury of having a choice on the matter.

I think mystery and femininity go hand in hand and I’m extremely interested in how that translates to the modern woman cuz from my point of view, it seems that little by little we are losing the essence of what makes us powerful and I’m not here for that at all (cleopatra would be thoroughly disappointed in us). I’m an advocate of stepping into your power and owning it in a way that is authentic to the expression and exploration of your perspective and life experience.

I also think that in today’s society, the modern world, people are oversharing because there’s this authenticity movement going on and anyone who’s doing less than baring it all to the public is seen as inauthentic. But how did that even become a thing! Reason it out. Perhaps I just don’t want the whole world to know my business, that’s a thought.

But then again I know that consumers drive the market so I can also kinda see how this became an issue in the first place. We are nosy AF! And we are so terrified of spending time with ourselves that we’d much rather get caught up in someone else instead of focusing on ourselves and improving so we can be the best version of us both inside and out. Instead we’re out here pressing up on any and every one we can get our hands on, wanting to know what they’re up to. Get a life perhaps??!

I mean there’s nothing wrong with wanting to know how another person lives, that’s how we learn and grow, through interaction and sharing of ideas. But can we just put a pin in it for a second? It’s getting a little bit obsessive and I don’t think I can say it any louder but life, my darlings, is all about balance. It’s a major key that we as individuals have repeatedly failed at integrating into our existence and we need to learn how to work the scales.

I dislike the fact that anyone who lives a life that has some semblance of mystery or privacy is harassed, mocked and/or ridiculed for the preferences and labelled as uptight or are said to be hiding something. Excuse me? Maybe I just don’t want everyone all up in my business, ruining what I have going on for me cuz it’s going fantastic. But we know that as humans we hate to hear that cuz we want all the dirt and tea and misery so we can revel in it. And if it’s non-existent guess what we want to do? We want to stir some up cuz I mean, life is just sweeter when there’s some chaos (which is not a lie, bit time and place, time and place!). Can I say this again? Get a life, create one for yourself instead of living vicariously through someone else.

I think that vulnerability is a quality that carries a lot of strength to it. Sounds contradictories but makes a lot of sense. But sometimes it can act as an enabler and cause us to lose touch with our sense of boundaries, privacy and Elegance, so I’ve gone ahead to outline some areas where we should be practicing maintaining our Feminine Mystery.

Cover Your Ass!

This has to do keeping your vulnerabilities private. Allow people to get to know you and then slowly earn the right to know about your baggage. That’s how it goes, as with respect, intimacy is also earned. Of course I know there are some things that need to be shared upfront to create boundaries or awareness, but always have it in the back of your mind that people will be people and some of these people will not have your best interests at heart. It’s okay to give people time to get to know you and show you their true colors. After all isn’t that the beauty of any blossoming relationship, the discovery…

Elegant Expressions

Having maturity and elements of self control and discernment, keeping your emotions under wraps and never acting out of character but also not moving through life as a robot unable to react or stand up sfor oneself are what this point deals with. This is helpful in all situations and can sometimes be difficult when you have an expressive personality and/or fave like mine. But like most life skills, it’s a learnable and beneficial skill to have in your arsenal. Also this is a little contextual, but I’ll let your brains put the dots together.

Privacy Online

You do not have to put it all out there. You do not have to capture every single moment of your existence and share it with the world. No one cares that much unless they’re a sociopath or psychopath. We need to constantly remind ourselves that social media is a highlight reel. I don’t think it’s wise, neither is it safe to let the whole world have access to every single piece of information and every single intricate detail of the workings of your life. Let what you share create value, let it inspire, let it brighten someone’s day. Be thoughtful and intentional about what you put out to the world.


It’s important to know when to speak and how to speak, learn how to read your situation and environment. Learn how to read the goddamned room. It’s not rocket science. Just be considerate and think before you speak. Also watch what you speak about to whom.

Pursuing Interests Hobbies and Skills

There’s something super attractive about a person who is passionate about the things they love. These things don’t just have to be creative expressions it could be literally anything you’re into. I’m talking about things that build your individuality and things that make you uniquely you. It shows you just have so much more going on with you than meets the eye. If you don’t have any interests or hobbies or aren’t sure what you like, this is an excellent opportunity for you to explore. You have the world at your fingertips and it has so much to offer you, you just have to pick from the vast array of potentials. Talent development can really round out your life and stimulate your mind in amazing ways.


Don’t let everyone see you in every state. Don’t talk about certain things in certain situations. This would vary based on your culture and customs, location and upbringing. Take the message, be intentional and discerning in all your affairs.

Yours truly, Chalya.


5 thoughts on “Feminine Mystery”

  1. Nice article Chalya, however I think you are going about it all wrong and are essentially preaching to the wrong audience.

    We live in a world that has always been like this and while I do agree that as you put it – “intimacy should be earned” and “the excitement is finding out” – I truly do not see how it relates to anything else youre saying here.

    What do I mean by that? well firstly you are making very broad and more importantly brash statements by claiming that everyone who enjoys sharing their lives or being apart of someone elses life they enjoy are sociopaths and or pyschopaths.

    Do you not follow anyone?

    Are you seriously telling me that everyone who hovels up in a hole and shares nothing is basically a saint? so we should all strive to do what exactly? not share? How then would people connect with others? I know you meant in the context of too much information, but some people would consider any information too much. How then do you even communicate sincerely with anyone I wonder?

    It was albert einstein who famously said – Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution. It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.

    I agree with that statement almost completely, and it serves to illustrate that like it or not we are defined by other people and we affect other people equally, that is what makes us who we are. While I do hear you, I feel that you have missed this crucial fact of life.

    What I consider most egregious however is you bringing feminism into it and trying to pass it off as though it an aspect of femininity to be mysterious and god forbid anyone take that away from you. Feminism has nothing to do with it. Lots of people feel this way. Men and women alike.

    I think you should evaluate what it is you seek out of sharing and do that, because trying to tell people or warn them against sharing in this day and age is an exercise in futility.

    Keep the feminism out of it. Its really got nothing to with it aside from your preconcieved notions of what feminism is.

    Not all women think alike.


      1. In that case why not just stick a sign on your forehead saying ” This mind is closed for business, thank you for your interest, but we aren’t accepting any new ideas here”


          1. Bravo, true display of wit & wisdom there Chalya, what are you 12 years old?

            When you post on a public platform you open yourself up to all forms of criticism. Something which you clearly do not understand. Your article was dumb. It made no sense and only a backward thinking feminist moron would see anything but rubbish in it.

            You think you are being clever by responding the way you are, but all you are truly showing is how incapable you are of actual intelligent discourse. Not once did you even attempt to address any of the points I called you out on.

            Its pathetic.

            It seems to me that you are the kind of person who is all but too happy to have people agree with you but not have them when they don’t.

            Grow up.

            Or don’t, who cares…

            all the more entertaining for the rest of us.

            Liked by 1 person

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